Tips For A Great First Date

We all know that bittersweet moment after we get over a breakup and are ready to get back into the dating game. Thank goodness we broke up with that guy, right?  But now it’s back to the search for Mr. Right.  Time to start dressing up again, blowing your hair out, and wearing that extra bit of mascara to make the best impression.  Here are some helpful tips to help you attract the man of your dreams.

A First DateFirst, decide whether you are ready for another relationship.  Do you feel emotionally stable and confident, or do you want a boyfriend because you’re lonely and lovesick from your last relationship?  Self-confidence starts from within, so if you’re not feeling good about yourself, you’re not likely to attract a guy that’s going to make you feel your best either.

Once you decide that you’re going to get back in the game, you need to form an idea of what type of man you’re looking for.  Examine some things that went wrong in your past relationships.  Was your beau too clingy, never letting you do anything or go anywhere alone?  What are some traits you’d like to see in your next boyfriend? Although opposites can attract, most people find that they need to share a basic set of values with their boyfriend, so if you value honesty and trust, your next man needs to as well.

Next, you need to put yourself out there!  An intuitive place to start meeting men is at work, but just be aware of the complications of office romance.  Many workplaces have rules against dating a supervisor or someone that reports to you. If you’ve been working at a particular place for a while, you might want to look elsewhere.  Here are some suggestions:

  • At a pool hall or sports bar: make it a girls’ night and get your friends to talk to his friends.
  • Join a MeetUp group or other club in your neighborhood where you can meet men with similar interests.
  • Join an online dating site: I know a lot of people who have met their boyfriend online, just use extreme caution with how much information you disclose at the outset.  When you actually meet your online boyfriend in person, make sure you meet in a public place during the day for the first several dates to avoid any possibility of being harmed.
  • Join a sports league: “Where there’s a ball, there’s a boy…” It still holds true when they’re older.
  • Join a biking or running group: Another safe way to meet men in a group environment, particularly if you enjoy biking or running.  It will make a great first few dates as well.
  • Keep your eyes open while doing errands: You never know who you might meet waiting for your clothes to dry at the Laundromat or waiting in line at the grocery store.
  • Stop trying so hard! You never know where you’re going to meet the man of your dreams, and odds are, it’s going to be in a place you least expect.

Once you meet someone you’re interested in and they ask you out!  We all know how important a first impression is, so you’ll want to make your first date lead to a second, third, and more.  Here are some tips for your first few dates:

  • Have a positive attitude: If you’re not excited about dating, why should your date be interested in you?
  • Don’t get tipsy: You won’t act like yourself and you won’t be able to know his true personality through your beer goggles.
  • Don’t bring up your ex-boyfriends: The beginning of a relationship is not a time to unload your baggage.
  • Be confident: Now is the time to be a strong woman. You can lament to him about your problems later.
  • Keep the conversation positive: Don’t complain about the traffic on the way to the date or all the work you have to do.  Your date wants to know that you’re happy to be out with him, not worried about everything else on your mind.
  • Don’t be too chatty: Great conversation is essential to dating, but don’t be a chatterbox.  Natural pauses in conversation are great to show him a flirty twinkle in your eye or sexy smile.
  • Always look your best: Ultimately you want a guy that loves you for more than your looks, but how you dress is a reflection of your personality.  Looking great will assure that you’ll be confident and excited about meeting someone new, not bored and apathetic.
  • Don’t be too available, even if you are: Better to leave your man always wanting more than to give him too much too soon.
  • Let him pay: Even if you’re the most independent woman out there, one way to tell if a man’s interested in you is by whether or not he’ll pay for your meal, movie ticket, or a cab ride home.
  • If you think his personality isn’t compatible with what you want, dump him right away (no matter how cute he is)!

Good luck!

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